What Is a Commitment Ceremony?
What is a commitment ceremony? And how is it different from a traditional wedding?
Weddings are a beautiful tradition. They celebrate the love and history a couple shares—and brings them together in a special ceremony dedicated to their future together. But a traditional wedding isn’t just symbolic—it’s also legally binding.
Couples who get legally married are required to sign a marriage license, submit it to the county clerk’s office, and comply with local laws to legitimize their union. Marriage provides a number of benefits including property rights, tax benefits, legal privileges, and immigration benefits—just to name a few.
Commitment ceremonies, on the other hand, offer all the romantic majesty of a wedding ceremony without the legal to-dos or benefits. Why would a couple choose a commitment ceremony? There are actually a lot of good reasons!
Why You Should Consider a Commitment Ceremony
Here’s why you should consider a commitment ceremony for your wedding day:
Scenario 1
You can get legally married at the courthouse when picking up your marriage license, thus simplifying things ahead of your wedding ceremony. By knocking out all the legal stuff at once, you can focus your wedding ceremony without having to travel back and forth to a courthouse, fill out paperwork, find witnesses, or deliver it to the county-clerk's office after the fact.
What this looks like: Emma & Tony got married in a spot that was negatively affected by a natural disaster. Roads were broken by flooding, meaning they would have a 5-hour round trip to the local courthouse just to pick up their license. This didn’t work with their schedule—so they were legally married in their hometown courthouse—and had a commitment ceremony later on their wedding day to avoid the long drive.
Scenario 2
You’re already legally married and now you want a chance to have a wedding party. This was pretty common during the COVID-19 pandemic, but any reason will do. Couples get married (just the two of them) at the courthouse—knowing that they’ll have a big party, wedding ceremony, or small elopement with friends and family later on.
What this looks like: Wendy & Jessica were supposed to get married in summer 2020, but we all know how that turned out (yikes!). They didn’t want to wait, so they got legally married at the courthouse instead. In 2021, when restrictions relaxed, they had a big wedding/commitment ceremony with their friends and family.
Scenario 3
You want all the benefits now but want to have a commitment wedding ceremony later. Sometimes it makes sense for couples to get legally married before their wedding ceremony. For instance, planning a wedding takes time, but some couples need access to healthcare, immigration, or legal benefits in advance.
What this looks like: Molly & Steven were married at a courthouse where they lived. As a couple who travels for work, it was necessary for them to be married to receive full benefits. Still, they wanted to have their family witness their union, so they had a commitment ceremony later on in a beautiful location.
Scenario 4
You’re renewing your vows. Vow renewals celebrate the ongoing commitment a couple has made, without any additional legal requirements. In this way, all vow renewals are also commitment ceremonies.
You want to get married while traveling, but also want to celebrate with friends and family when you get back. Some couples appreciate the opportunity to get married while they are traveling. But that doesn’t stop them from enjoying a commitment ceremony attended by friends and family later—or vice versa.
What this looks like: Samantha & Ben wanted to celebrate their love in another state with their close friends. But they also wanted their families to be involved, so they had a commitment ceremony while traveling, but then went to the courthouse for their legal wedding with their parents when they got home.
Scenario 5
You eloped, just the two of you, and want to host a commitment ceremony with your friends and family. Sometimes a wave of spontaneous romance strikes you two, and you just can’t wait to get married. That’s totally cool (legally speaking). It’s also cool for you two to host a commitment ceremony with people in attendance later down the line.
What this looks like: Ceecee & Kolton wanted to elope in another state, but also wanted to be legally married on 2/22/22. What a fun date! So they went to the courthouse that day to get legally married but had a commitment ceremony in another state with their families.
As a couple, you don’t vibe with traditional forms of marriage but you still want to celebrate your union. Some couples love the idea of commitment, but don’t like the idea of the government being involved or philosophically don’t agree with the institution of marriage. And that’s A-OK. Commitment ceremonies give you the opportunity to share vows, commemorate your past, and celebrate your future together without all the red tape and baggage.
*These are all real stories, but names and locations were changed for privacy reasons.
Did you know? Before marriage equality was legalized in all 50 US states in 2015, many same-sex would celebrate their love and dedication to each other through commitment ceremonies because (in some states) there was no legal course.
Fun Fact for fans of The Office. In the episode where Jim and Pam invite everyone to their Niagara Falls wedding, the couple gets overwhelmed by the number of guests and decides to run away and get married in secret just before the big ceremony.
Commitment Ceremony FAQs
Will my day feel as special if I choose a commitment ceremony? Your wedding day is what you make of it. If you think about it, signing the paperwork is just that. The day you declare your love is special—because it’s the celebration and affection you share with your special someone.
What will my commitment ceremony look like if I’m already married? Your commitment ceremony can look and feel exactly like a legal wedding; except for a couple of minor details. For example, the officiant won’t say, “I now pronounce you.” But other than that, you can still share vows, perform a reading, exchange rings, perform a hand-warming, or whatever else is special to you during your commitment ceremony.
How is a commitment ceremony conducted? Because a commitment ceremony doesn’t need to check any of the legally required boxes, there’s more flexibility. You can hire an officiant to lead the ceremony or get an unofficial friend or family member to do it. You can even lead the ceremony yourselves, if you prefer. Yup—you won’t need someone to be ordained to do this because there’s nothing legal happening.
What other unique ceremony ideas can I do? There are so many things you can do for your commitment ceremony. A few cool examples include handfasting ceremonies, hand-warming ceremonies (in which friends and family members “warm” your rings by sharing well-wishes before you put on the rings, reading vows you’ve written, or lighting a unity candle together. If you have your own ideas, go for it!
Celebrate Your Wedding Day With a Commitment Ceremony
As you can see, there are lots of reasons why a couple would choose a commitment ceremony. For some couples, it’s just easier to knock out the legal stuff all at once before their wedding day. For other couples, it is a practical option and a philosophical preference.
In any case, the way you celebrate your love for one another should reflect you two, your values, and your vision for your perfect wedding day.
Looking for a photographer for your wedding, elopement, or commitment ceremony? Love & Latitudes Photography specializes in unique adventure weddings and elopements! Contact us today.
