“I Do” and the Declaration of Intent for Your Wedding
What’s the Big To Do About “I Do”?
Wedding ceremonies are an outward expression of the love shared by you and your fiancé—and as such, they should reflect your values and desires. Every couple is different. For example:
Some couples appreciate short ceremonies without a lot of words or big to-do’s, because the feelings they share say it all already.
Other couples like long ceremonies highlighting their history as a couple while lots of pomp and circumstance.
Still, others want a ceremony that ties them to their family history or faith.
And some couples want to involve their friends throughout and make it more of a celebration.
The whole point is that it’s up to you two how to seal your love in matrimony. But there are a few necessary details to make sure your wedding is a legal ceremony too.
One of those details is the “Declaration of Intent” — which is basically the less romantic, technical term for the “I do” section. And this makes sense, right? Legally, you want to make sure that both people consent to get married and you need their verbal “I do” to seal the deal.
But even so, you can still play with some of the wording to match your values as a couple. Here are a few examples to get you thinking about your “I do”s.
I Do’s Are Different Than Vows
It’s important to clarify the differences between vows and declarations of intent. Vows can be traditional recitations or personalized. It’s usually something along the lines of telling the other person why you love them, maybe a bit about your history as a couple, and some promises about your relationship going forward.
The declaration of intent is a little bit different. In this case, the officiant recites something along the lines of: “Do you take this person to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live,” followed by an “I do” from each person.
While vows are wonderful, they aren’t legally required for a wedding ceremony. Many couples choose to share their vows privately, outside of the ceremony itself. Others skip vows entirely. But a declaration of intent is required for a legal wedding ceremony.
Your Options for the Big I Do: Tradition, Contemporary, We Do, or Spiritual Declarations of Intent
Now that we’ve covered what a declaration of intent is and why it’s legally important, it’s valuable to note that couples can play with the wording to match their values.
For example, some couples like terms like husband or wife while others prefer spouse or partner. Changing these words doesn’t change the legality of the wedding, but can mean a lot to the people agreeing to get married. Other examples might include religion vs. secular language, traditional vs. contemporary wordings, individual vs. collective “I dos”, and more.
We share a few examples below, but know that there’s more flexibility here than you might expect. The whole point is to get verbal consent to the marriage from both people. Otherwise, it’s kind of up to you.
Traditional
Some couples really appreciate the traditional wording because it feels official and classy, and matches their expectations for how a wedding should sound. Traditional “I do”s usually sound something like this:
NAME, do you take NAME to be your lawful wedded wife/husband/spouse/partner? Do you promise to love and cherish her/him/them, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, for so long as you both shall live?
Contemporary
The contemporary wording is a little more casual, which is why some couples prefer something like this:
NAME, do you take NAME as your wife/husband/spouse/partner and your companion? Do you promise to share her/his/their laughter during the good times and wipe her/his/their tears during the bad, from this day forward?
Another example is something like this:
NAME, before your family and friends, do you take NAME as your beloved wife/husband/spouse/partner, to have and to hold, through laughter and in sadness, through challenges and successes, so long as you both shall live?
Spiritual, Religious, Spiritual But Not Religious, and Secular
Some couples want their wedding day to reflect their religious convictions, in which case the declaration of intent might sound something like this:
Under the eyes of God, NAME, do you take NAME to be your lawfully wedded spouse? Do you promise to support her/him/them completely and love her/him/them unconditionally, so long as you both shall live?
You can swap the word “God” for “Allah” or another spiritual term if you prefer. If you are spiritual but not religious, you might appreciate “Under the eyes of the Universe” or “Under the fold of the Elements” instead.
Not religious? That’s okay too. Feel free to cut any references that don’t match your values.
We Dos
Some couples like to say “we do” rather than “I do”—in which case, the declaration of intent might balance the legal requirement for an “I do” with more general promises between the couple. Here’s an example:
NAME, do you take NAME to be your lawfully wedded spouse?
I Do.
NAME, do you take NAME to be your lawfully wedded spouse?
I Do.
Do you, as a couple, promise to share in each other's joy as well as each other's sadness?
We Do.
Do you, as a couple, promise to share in each other's successes as well as each other's burdens?
We Do.
Do you, as a couple, promise to share in each other's strengths as well as each other's weaknesses?
We Do.
Do you, as a couple, promise to share in each other's good times as well as each other's hard times?
We Do.
The Big To-Do about “I Do”s
And there you have it. Everything you need to know about the big “I do” at the end of the ceremony. Once you’ve crossed that threshold, it’s an exchange of rings, a big kiss, and “I now pronounce you.” Exciting stuff!
If you are planning a wedding and want a photographer/officiant combo, reach out to Love & Latitudes Outdoor Wedding and Elopement Photography. We love helping couples have the wedding of their dreams.
